How Gurukulam Learning Differs from Regular Education - What I Learnt at AVG Part 4

śrī gurubhyo namaha!

What I Learnt in Time

From the little time spent at the gurukulam, I have tried my best to be an ātmārāmā not an indriyārāmā. Someone who revels in herself and not in the sense objects. This is easier said than done and is only possible when we do regular study of the texts which tell us why the latter is anathema.

When I was nine, my maternal grandfather Challapalli Apparao consoled me one evening when I was alone at home with him, as my parents had gone off to watch a film, and I was upset as they had left me behind intentionally. My tātayya talked of how the whole world was a film far more interesting than man-made films as we could never predict what would happen next minute. So how about I start watching it right away, it was a big lesson for a small girl. Years later when I was taught the temporariness of jīva sṛṣṭi, of man made projects, versus īśvara sṛṣṭi god-made world, which is far more permanent, I realized what my grandfather was trying to teach me. We must make a leap from being and dwelling on jīva sṛṣṭi to īśvara sṛṣṭi to have a clear head and a relatively comfortable life, if not a release from life & death itself.

Growing up I was often reprimanded for my meaningless bodily actions; shaking my foot or tucking a hair strand behind my ear, all such movements which exposed my unresolved nervous energy. A yukta puruṣa though, I was taught in the gurukulam, is someone who is well collected, not wasting away like a water pipe with many holes. Such habits expose our lack of control over ourselves, they are default gestures which are totally unnecessary, meeting no purpose. Many times they are aśauca, ritually impure acts - especially when we touch hair and nails and then without realizing touch utensils of food etc. What changed externally after I returned from the gurukulam was of course that I started paying more attention to my mind, my thoughts and my actions, by holding back from such involuntary acts. I also started rinsing my mouth after every meal and bathing after all ablutions. There was of course no question of cooking without a shower first, forget breakfast in bed.

I started chanting ślokās before each activity of the day - be it at getting up in the morning, at the time of touching my feet on the ground, before bathing, cooking, eating, sleeping, every daily act was made into a ritual and was made sacred through a relevant chant. Being taught that everything is nothing but īśvara, the natural offshoot of this was to sacralize my daily life. Doing so of course gave me confidence and kept me in a safe space. I could slowly see that it was all in order. Whatever happens, happens for the best because the Prime Mover knows what is happening. Who deserves what; karma is a module, a mechanism, and takes its own course. We can make an intervention via pūjā or with reaching-out activities, to acquire puṇyā that can remove the obstacles, the duritas, but we cannot change karma’s course, as we must suffer or enjoy the consequences of our past actions which have been carried forward since many births. Accepting the order and resorting to prayer when the order brings in obstacles is the intelligent way to live. I became more reverential, some of it we all are aware of - when dropping a pen or book or bank note - we beg for forgiveness, we touch our eyes with the object and seek an apology. But have you ever wondered why we must say sorry to a pen? Or a banknote? If you did, you would have discovered that we Hindus are a highly religious and poetic people who see gods and symbolism in everything around us. But we are also a community that gave a lot of thought on the escape mechanism. How do I rid myself of this saṃsāra? Is there anything beyond poetry and religiosity; of course there is, as Nāciketa will surely tell you!

Before going to the gurukulam I was not clear about the concept of mokṣa; dharma artha kāma made a lot of sense but mokṣa, it was a word which did not give away much, there was a sense of mystery surrounding it. A desire to be free from insecurities and fears forever, that never crossed my mind, nor did I know this was possible. That it was possible to make this puruṣārtha niścaya, that all I want is mokṣa come what may, and allow the universe to work its way into helping me ‘attain’ it (‘as though attain’ because mokṣa is available in the here and now for our asking but since we identify with the body mind sense complex so much, we are forced to use words such as ‘attain’). The four basic goals of humans, and how the vaidika system offers a way out of this saṃsāra even while living in it is something we must expose our youngsters to. Our concept of freedom, our concept of God, of devatās, these are essentials. How have we been so selfish and kept them in the dark regarding such profound truths that can be so life changing?

I had heard of nirvāṇā too of course but used the word without fully comprehending the meaning of what it alluded to nor knew how it differed from mokṣa, if it did (it does). But one thing was clear to me within a week of coming to Anaikatti, that the whole idea that mokṣa or nirvāṇa is some special time in one’s life, a special event to wait for - a huge ball of light descending from the heavens into me and such - that went puff! mokṣa is an ever growing clarity of one’s true nature, yes a dry definition and not a patch on our imagination which wants thunder and lightning and acceptance from ‘God’. There is no God which does not include me!! I am God! Yes, that is what I learnt at the gurukulam. An important learning that is life transforming.

Another transformative ‘aha point’ was not to be too taken in by ‘science and rationality’ too much - even while using science and logic extensively in all my scriptural study and argument making. Trying to justify every traditional practice as scientific is foolish, as many practices are ‘beyond science’. The Vedas talk of subject matter that cannot be proven or negated by science. How does one establish puṇyā or pāpa scientifically? Or explain adṛṣṭā phala? Or even punarjanma and karma. Proof is for people who lack śraddhā , and such people have no adhikāritvam to śāstra anyway. One comes to śāstra when all other avenues have been exhausted. When one is despairing at the foolishness of the world - of looking for the infinite in the finite, that is when one approaches śāstra looking for answers.

We are not doing śāstra a favour by calling it ‘scientific’, it is in fact very limiting to term it so! Moreover it is false too. But unlike other blind belief systems, śāstra assures us of results in the here and now once we cross over the bridge of distrust. By sādhanā which is experiential learning one can transform at the physical, emotional, psychological, and mental level. Our limited knowledge of a three or four dimensional world is smiled at by a benign all knowing all seeing ṛṣi. To be in such a person’s care is to witness heaven, hell, and the whole brahmāṇḍa in oneself. One can break through the time and space barriers and witness the Self in all its glory. Our schools and universities are so taken in by science and modernity that they do not pause to think about what such a worldview promotes, and what it rejects. And if what it rejects is perhaps valid too. There seems to be no scope for an alternative worldview.

Studying at AVG exposed me to my responsibility towards my duties. I must do what must be done. Easy enough definition but what is it that needs to be done is never clearly defined. Well, that is common sense is it not? Depending on my age, station, position, situation, I have certain duties to fulfill towards myself and other entities, those must be taken care of. Firstly, my stay at AVG enabled me to appreciate that there are other realities apart from the visible world; of devatās, of pitṛs, of bhūtas - that there were beings apart from humans and animals, that the whole universe was teeming with life, nay, it is indeed life itself. It taught me - shockingly - that anyone can become a devatā through one’s actions, I could be born as Indra ruling the heavens in the next manvantara if I acquired enough puṇya for the post. Then it taught me to be grateful to this universe which has birthed me. And that I could express this gratitude via pañca mahā yajñas; a to-do list for living a better life. Thus, from being an immature person who was always competing for resources and only taking taking taking, I could now transform into an adult, someone mature with a capacity to give. You are an adult only when you become a contributor, when one turns a contributor from being a mere consumer, Pūjya Svāmījī was often fond of saying, until then you are a child. What can I do for you? What can I offer you? These were his greetings, and dāna, dayā, were his abiding characteristics. Even on his deathbed his trembling hands would search for something to offer you. That cold fall evening in Saylorsburg in 2015, I was overcome with emotion when he thrust an apple in my palm from his hospital bed, with a smile. _dānaena adānam tara _overcome not-giving by giving. I now gave active thought to feeding birds, animals, watering plants, sharing food with the neighbour, taking snacks to the office, cooking for friends and family. Now I was no longer lazy and wanting others to wait upon me, where I would be a burden, instead I shouldered my share of responsibilities with gratitude and expressed generosity by sharing what I had.

This is something ammā had always shown by example, by being the first to volunteer for anything in the house or outside. But unfortunately like most others I learnt my lesson only when I left home. Our mothers and grandmothers lived these truths without ever going to a gurukulam, these teachings were so embedded in the daily culture itself. Now, with the unavailability of such a culture, gurukulam study seems imperative.. Our educational institutions do not care to develop our understanding of duties and responsibilities towards all beings, nor do they care for improving our understanding of ecology and immediate environment, most students merely hold banners, write essays, and do no more than bandying about the latest causes on social media for garnering followers or a good grade. The deep respect and connection that comes from a daily engagement with an entity - via pūjā, via offerings, via sharing, this is missing. Our puruṣārthas and our ṛṇas, this is the basic framework in which we live and contribute, all the while walking on the razor’s edge knowing fully well our true identity.

It is not just the Vedāntabhāga but Vedapūrvabhāga also which is important to study. It talks of values - honesty, simplicity, transparency - so that we are in harmony with the totality. It also talks of having a reverential attitude towards everything in the world - towards our parents, our teachers, our relatives, guests etc., we must learn to respect everyone. It shows us how this world is not to be exploited but to be respected. So Vedapūrvabhāga makes an animal-man into man-man i.e. a human. It provides means to fulfill one’s desires, one’s kāmya karmas, it makes a person a contributor, it draws attention to values and attitudes to be imbibed while talking of harmful activities to be avoided, all these are very important for leading a religious life. In short it focuses on duties, attitudes, and values.

Karmakāṇḍa, which I would scoff at before without knowing anything about it, is also the subject matter of the Vedas and is extremely important for humanity as it makes the animal-man into a man-man,from doing everything by instinct to being bound by rules and norms i.e. conscious deliberation and intent, which is refinement. From prakṛta vyavahāra to saṃskṛta vyavahāra. If not it is all kāmabhakśaṇam, kāmavāda, kāmācaraṇa i.e., eating, speaking, and doing as one wishes not as per one’s duties or dharma, animal life and human life are not that different if this is so. Until we start following a regulated dinacaryā and performing our nitya karmas and pañca mahā yajñas we will remain instinctual and immature.

I also learnt the essential aspect of how to seek help via prayer and how to express my innermost emotions via rituals during my stint at the gurukulam. When we are helpless it is intelligent to ask for help, says Pūjya Svāmījī. We all know how most of us are loathe to ask for directions or advice especially these days when we are supposed to know it all or ask Google or Siri for assistance. But when there are devatās ready to offer their hand, why not take it? To start with we must not decry rituals as a waste, the beauty of rituals is for us to savour and revel in, there is a meaning to seasonal festivities where we get a break from a routinized life. We get divine sanction to express joy and indulge in revelry. Take saṃkrānti for instance - from gau worship to sūrya ārādhanā, from the the glowing lamps to the the rangolī, the flower garlands, the naivedya, the dāna dakṣiṇa that follows, all this celebrates a certain aspect of life in a given moment in time periodically. Rituals externalise and give vent to the unconscious and subconscious emotions within us, they give shape to our innermost feelings.

There is deep meaning in all our customs, we may or may not subscribe to them, but we must know why we do something. If we do not care for them, we need not decry them as useless, on the contrary. Even today when we look at practising Hindus, especially among the rural, the poor, the orthodox; they bathe twice a day at the very least, they dress up neatly with oiled plaits and flowers in their hair, boṭṭus on their forehead and sporting a winning smile on their lips. They light sandhyā dīpas, worship twice a day, and go forth into the world with warmth in their hearts and a smile on their lips. What stops us from teaching these small acts to our children too, so that it helps them in the long run to face the inevitable hurdles in life with an optimistic attitude.

One major confusion regarding advaita vedānta is that we consider the world as māyā, as non-existent. So it should not matter how we live in the world at all, right? This can pave the way to cynicism, to negativity. Mithyā is not an illusion, it is instead magic!! Magic because it is there; I see and feel it yet it is not real i.e. it is temporary and not permanent, it ultimately depends on another entity for its existence. It is adhiṣṭhāna ananyavat, not separate from the entity it originated from, which is brahman. Without vastu i.e. brahman there is no mithyā, which means that whatever I touch, see, smell, feel and hear is brahman with a name and form, ascribed with word and meaning. Yet māyā is indescribable; sat asatbhyām anirvacanīyam, we cannot describe it as truth or false, it is an in-between reality, it exists but not really, not totally. For the sake of our understanding let us take three realities to appreciate the world and ourselves = subjective, empirical, and absolute. It takes years to rid oneself of the pratibhāsika subjective satyam where we project and judge ourselves and the world constantly, to live fulfillingly in the empirical vyavahāra world, we must give up this subjectivity altogether. We are in actuality absolute ānanda svarūpa, so not being joyful is not acceptable, we are neither the subjective nor the empirical realities. The more one smiles and laughs, the more one is closer to brahman, to oneself, to ātmā.

Citta śuddhi and citta naiścalyam are our goals whatever the obstacles in our empirical reality. These are the means to mokṣa. Using Vedas as pramāṇam (means of knowing our Self) and śraddhā (belief pending understanding as Svāminī Svatmavidyananda jī often says) in guru and śāstra vākya which is essential, we can easily raise our consciousness to higher levels, this is something that is available to all, irrespective of their jāti, varṇa, kula. Whatever we do in our lives, we can land at this spot and move ahead and beyond. Whoever we are. So the crying over ‘caste’ and ‘injustice’ is ultimately futile if one does not take advantage of the śāstra and guru in practising this lifestyle, as mokṣa is not denied to anyone.

When we know what comes next at every step, we do not waste our precious energies in trying to figure out what to do or in doing the wrong thing; boredom, angst, depression, there is no room for such millennial or Gen Z problems when the body and mind are occupied doing heavy lifting, physically and mentally. Gurukulavāsa involves washing our clothes, doing our dishes, cleaning our rooms, performing sevā, helping sahapāṭhis, doing homework, engaging in classwork, studying taxing subjects such as Pāṇinīan grammar and abstract concepts from the Upaniṣads and the Śrīmadbhagavad‌gītā. There are no off days or holidays, this routine is 24/7.

During festivals and celebrations, we would pitch in to wash and clean the dining and the lecture halls, assist in decorating the temple, serve in the kitchen and on the grounds, help in putting up mango leaf toraṇas, flower garlands and kolams in the campus. There was always so much to do everyday. Most of us would steal an extra 10-15 mins of sleep on a light day and that would be a luxury. With this kind of back to back rigorous routine it is near impossible for the mind to wander and for the body to ask for other pleasures. The body mind sense complex starts to work as one unit in a focused manner, like a laser beam. Sharp and effective, this is a tool we can use for the betterment of oneself and society.

Why are we not training our young adults to be like this? We have a history of a gurukula paddhati, which we have given up on even after political independence, for an alternative that does not care for the whole person or the society, but only for creating robot-like creatures to supply bodies for a job market. A short stay at the gurukulam helps us develop our dinacaryā, perform our nityakarmas, adhere to a spiritual practices, showcases importance of doing one’s duties versus fighting for rights, it enables us to relax as we know what is coming next, and empowers us to allow things to happen in their own time. When we do not do the right thing we do the wrong thing as Svāmī Sadatmananda jī often cautions. For example if we do not cook at home everyday, we will tend to eat out and our health and hygiene is thereby affected, we will resort to eating fried or unhealthy stuff, literally junk. So we must train ourselves to do the right thing by indulging in everyday ācāra vyavahāra which is beneficial to us and everyone around us. Doing something daily will shape a habit which will become our character and develop into our sādhanā.

A dinacaryā handholds us psychologically speaking, it enables us to have a wholesome permanent relationship with the infinite, as whatever we do, we do with an attitude of gratitude and offer it to īśvara. This practice gives a certain space, a certain surety to life, there is a lack of dependency emotionally or psychologically, aloneness becomes enjoyable and we are never lonely. Of course the physical and material benefits of learning Saṃskṛtam, of Pāṇinī, of chanting daily, of eating moderately, of eating sātvika āhāra, all this need not be reiterated as it is well known. Eating, sleeping, moving about, doing everything in moderation helps a student to meditate better and thus getting rid of sorrow caused by worldly issues.

युक्ताहारविहारस्य युक्तचेष्टस्य कर्मसु
युक्तस्वप्नावबोधस्य योगो भवति दु:खहा

yuktāhāra-vihārasya yukta-ceṣṭasya karmasu yukta-svapnāvabodhasya yogo bhavati duḥkha-hā

When people talk of dietary restrictions in vaidika dharma and take strong positions for or against say vegetarianism, this posturing comes from a place of ignorance. We are a community which has given birth to interlocking interdisciplinary systems of knowledge which when studied organically assist us to actualize our total potential. A sātvika diet for example is recommended for a sādhaka, a brāhmaṇa who is following a certain ācāra and is in pursuit of the Truth. So the confusion and the question, ‘why is onion or garlic proscribed when they are so good for health’ is moot. A sādhaka would know that garlic is probably good for certain bodily constitutions, that it is good for the sthūla śarīra only, the gross body, which falls under annamaya koṣa, but is not advisable for intake if one proposes to rise above this koṣa to subtle energy fields, which belong to the ‘higher’ bodies. It is thus not recommended for someone who is following a certain vrata etc. We tend to conflate WhatsApp acquired information which is mostly a western gaze superimposed on what we were taught as children; which is the essential bhāratīya jñāna paramparā coming to us from our land, rooted in our understanding of our ‘bodies’; which says there are five bodies not one (Another matter that we Vedāntins say there is no body, where is the body, show me the body!!)

With increasing study and meditation my value judgments and expectations decreased. My happiness was no longer dependent upon external conditions or other people. Eliciting validation from friends and family too decreased drastically. This is a wonderful outcome of gurukulavāsa as most children in this day and age are exposed to too much social media which is all about validating our weak selves. It also gives rise to unnecessary shobhanā adhyāsa i.e. the unbridled fascination for an object thinking that it can give me security and happiness, this false superimposition is shobhanā adhyāsa. An extension of that would be that I value all superimpositions that arise from my mind - a certain style, a look, a book, which I end up calling as good ‘taste’. How would one judge ‘taste’ or ‘fashion’ objectively? How is one ‘taste’ better than the other? But this is how we think. We give extra value to the ephemeral, rather than to satyam śivam sundaram which is and always will be. Once I understand what this Truth is, what reality is, why would I need anything else to satisfy my aesthetic needs?

Another area which I became aware of consciously while I was at the gurukulam is my mad love for agni. As Hindus we owe a lot to agni devatā, to fire - for knowledge, for food, for yajña and pūjās, and we must ensure that we keep our fires lit everyday. We must make sure that they are not put off. This would mean we do not blow off candles at our birthday parties. It is literally the worst form of celebration for a Hindu. From light to darkness - the opposite of tamaso mā jyotirgamaya! At the gurukulam there are fires everywhere! From the Gaṇapati homam in the morning at 5.00 am onwards to the various pūjās, inaugurations, decorations, kāryas, nothing is done or even feasible without agni devatā. Most of us of course lit our morning and evening dīyās in our rooms too. The festival of Kārtika Pūrṇimā was an unforgettable experience that still flashes in front of my eyes, more than Dīpāvalī, we celebrated this southern version of Deva Dīpāvalī in such splendour - there were dīpās everywhere, and after dusk the whole āśrama glowed in the grace of agni, that from the heavens must have looked like one well lit lamp beckoning the devās, from the dark forests of Anaikatti. Lighting so many lamps will have that effect on you - of knowledge of awareness and of understanding the hitherto un-understood issues. When gentleness and sensitivity is requested of our behaviour all callousness and aggressiveness stops, all individualism drops.

I realized also that I need to be cautious and that I should tread carefully, and when in doubt I must follow tradition else keep mum. I have not built any temple, and I am not managing one, so if I do not like their rules, I go to another one. Simple. But to force my way in just because it suits me and my ego, now that is not the way of a vaidika. We are the people of least disturbance to others (Pūjya Svāmījī Dayananda Saraswati, Arsha Vidya) This understanding came my way much before Sabarimala happened, and it helped me appreciate Ayyappa’s stipulations with a calm heart. How much of this nuance is taught in schools and colleges; the values of respect, sensitivity, gentleness in dealings, giving the other their due, accepting diverse practices, without jumping the gun and shouting for ‘my rights’ and trampling all over established customs and norms, especially when they are not harmful to the practitioners themselves? As the Shankaracharya of Puri says, if you believe in the fruits of a certain action then you must believe in the process of that action, of eligibility i.e. adhikāritvam for that action too, this is a complete formula. It is not something to have a go at, in bits and pieces, and hope for it to be effective.

@aurvabhrg makes a case for diverse practices and why we ought to let them be,

The Protestant thought process that each and everyone must have the right to read, and interpret the “Holy Text” would have made sense in a religion where there was only one way to approach the divine and every alternate route labelled blasphemous. Applying this reasoning to Hindu dhārma is not only stupid, but is ungrateful. For this is one religion which has made available countless ways to approach the divine …. to suit the requirements of people under the constraints of deśakāla varṇa and āśrama. It acknowledges those constraints, but also empowers people to engage with the divine. This is why you see mind boggling diversity coexisting in India. What is amṛtā for one may be halāhala for another and vice-versa. The constraints ensure that no one is forced to consume what may be halāhala for them. At the same time, Hindu dhārma empowers everyone to seek and maintain what is amṛtā to them. Those who understand this won’t yearn for some mythical unity and equal rights to a particular religious ritual practice. In the pursuit of satisfying their ego, they belittle the Vaidika paramparā, to preserve which the practising Vaidikas have invested their entire lives and the lives of their children. These Vaidikas have soldiered on despite a hostile society and a hostile state.

So the good news for many more people who are busy in their daily lives and doing their duties diligently is:

स्वे स्वे कर्मण्यभिरत: संसिद्धिं लभते नर:
स्वकर्मनिरत: सिद्धिं यथा विन्दति तच्छृणु

sve sve karmaṇy abhirataḥ sansiddhiṁ labhate naraḥ
sva-karma-nirataḥ siddhiṁ yathā vindati tach chhṛiṇu

Do your duty, you get fulfilment, you get the fruits of your karma, there is no compulsion to chant Vedās. Take a carpenter for example, his is hard work, doing physical labour on a daily basis, where is the mental space and time for performing sandhyā, where is the inner leisure for bhāṣya, for scriptural study or commentary? Is it not enough that he slogs day in and out to create something exquisite and functional, and is proud of what he does? It is enough. He has his own norms and his own practices and are they enough, they are more than enough. They will take him to the next level as and when he is ready to go there. Meanwhile many weavers and other jātis also wear their janeu with honour, they have bhakti and take pride in their vṛtti. A stint at the gurukulam will disabuse us of the need for everyone to perform the same functions and duties. There is no pyramid or an apex to strive towards, making us unhappy in our own lives and professions. Instead there arises a healthy acceptance and appreciation of the diverse practices that tie together as Hindu culture.

Another debate that goes on and on especially when initiates first come to the gurukulam is that of free will versus fate. If our fate is already decided what is the point of doing anything, and if it is not decided then where does karma fit in? As always Hindu vision is not a simplistic black and white story. It is nuanced, and hence has many detractors too, because who wants to think so much nowadays! Is it not easier to do what I please, to assume that I live only once and that this body is for enjoyment? We have not mainstreamed what our śāstras say - from our social media to our entertainment, we have let the western modern ideologies creep in and settle down. Generations have been lost to such propaganda wherein Hindu ideas are seen as regressive or superstitious, whereas what they offer for a healthy wholesome living and the hereafter too is nothing short of a treasure chest, long forgotten in deep seas. We accept free will as much as appreciating that any action WILL have a result both visible and invisible. And results accrue as per the intention of our actions done in the past many janmas, not just from this birth. Yet when faced with such a fatalistic idea we are told in the Brahma Sutra bhāṣya that we have a choice in the way we respond and react - we may do something, not do something, and / or do it another way, so there is no blind acceptance of our fate and no we are not puppets in the hands of god, we have a free will which we can and should utilize especially for knowing our true selves:

कर्तुमकर्तुमन्यथा वा कर्तुं शक्यं लौकिकं वैदिकं च कर्म

kartum akartum anyathā vā kartum śakyam
laukikam vaidikam ca karma

This freedom of choice to respond in a myriad ways is something that must be clarified to youngsters who sometimes commit suicide out of lack of clear understanding of what their options are and assume that they have no choice at all regarding the matter at hand. If we adopt a sincere Hindu vaidika lifestyle we can easily say goodbye to unnecessary medications, psychiatrists, unhealthy drug dependencies and addictions. So anyway what is the deal with free will and fate? Is karma not fate? NO. karma means an action. Your intention makes what you do i.e. karma; good or bad, and each action i.e. karma has good or bad results depending on one’s intentions. These results are pratyakṣa. You can see them right up but there is also an unseen aspect of the results called adṛṣṭa; results which we cannot see - these are good or bad results of our past actions. So not only do we have direct results of what we do, we also create a sort of a fixed deposit bank balance of what we do - good or bad. These fructify at unknown times or eras and we have no clue what will fructify when! Even Kṛṣṇa says, gahanā karmaṇo gatiḥ, the way of karma is too complex.

Now fate is what we are faced with at a given time - the results of what we did in this life and past lives - and free will which all humans possess is what we do with what we are faced with. We have a choice to react to every situation, if not physically then mentally and psychologically, we can choose not to be hurt, or upset, or angry, or shamed, or dishonoured, irrespective of what happens to us. We have the free will to take action in every circumstance, from freedom to say yes, to freedom to say NO too! But we don’t talk of this power much and it is under utilized - the power of saying no to that which is adharma, to that which takes us on a path of adharma.

Now, when we say we are free, are we really so? Freedom is not the same as independence. We may be independent but most of us are not free. To be free we must not react, we must not choose based on our vāsanās our past impressions. Our instinctual likes and dislikes are our rāga dveṣas, we have to work these out with careful study of śāstra which helps us rid ourselves of such un-free practices. We are so bound by our past impressions that we make decisions spontaneously and assume this is freedom. Freedom is the ability to make a decision after discernment, if a particular choice is in alignment with my ultimate goal, if it aligns with dharma, if it is for loka sangraha. When measured thus very few of us are actually free. For example being afraid is a bandha a bondage, so also a need or compulsion to ‘become’ something somebody, this need is not actually a sign of freedom, to be completely free we must revolt against our unspoken compulsions to become something or somebody all the time which forces us to resort to negative tendencies, we need to carry on this inner bloodless revolution to be truly free.

The West is an individualized society, we all know that, we also know the pitfalls therein but we are heading straight towards the cliff drop. ahaṃkāra and mamakāra are celebrated in the West. My, Me, Mine. Ego is central to such thinking. In India too, definitely in the cities and increasingly in aspirational towns, people want to live by their fancies, their likes and dislikes - per their rāga dveṣas not as per śāstra or vṛddha vyavahāra or local saṃskṛti, this is the basic tussle - what suits me as an individual I do, even if it means going against an age old system. Why? Because śāstra requires me to be disciplined, needs me to let go of my cravings and prejudices and puts a weight and anchor on my sexuality, now this being detrimental to my idea of individual freedom and independence I rebel - against family, society, myself, and end up messing up my life for no reason. I don’t end up happy and content either. Very few do. Who will teach our children the perils of the It’s My Life syndrome? That there need not be any Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) because we never die, we are forever, we do not believe in YOLO (you only live once), that our scriptures tell us that death is nothing but a change of clothes to another life. Why are we not teaching the young ones lessons that will make them mentally and psychologically strong?

An area much neglected and which really requires our attention these days is the latent sexuality of teenagers which has come undone with nuclear families, social media messaging and western norms becoming more and more acceptable in our society. The pitfalls of broken abusive relationships at an early age or teenage pregnancies are not taught to young girls while the rest of the glamour vis a vis modern lifestyle is broadcast daily from all media. A life of commitment, of responsibility for one’s actions, of an alternative lifestyle which need not be promiscuous or licentious and yet be cool and aspirational has yet to make inroads in our society. We are not preparing our next generation to think differently, either we expect them to go their way and rue at the downfall of values or we expect them to stick to age old traditions without giving them any breathing room to adapt and fit into a changing world.

Why does a vaidikā lifestyle insist on a disciplined life bordering on a military regimen at the early stages of a person’s life? Brahmacārya is a wonderful concept and practice wherein the mind is not allowed to indulge in untimely sexual needs and perverse ideas but channels those urges into diverse constructive practices. This builds the moral fibre of the child and allows him or her to grow holistically without being hijacked by sexuality, gender politics, and other base needs which can ruin the child, preventing his growing up normally or blooming into a well adjusted adult.

Accepting teenage romance as legitimate is one such practice which modern day city bred families have started condoning without understanding why this was frowned upon even a generation ago. It is not that sex is sinful in vaidika paraṃparā, on the contrary- kāmosmi bharatriṣabhaha. All desires are legitimate says Kṛṣṇa in the Śrīmadbhagavad‌gītā, but those have to be upheld by dharma, they cannot be fantasies of a teenager whose mind fixates on someone and is not ready to take responsibility for one’s actions nor face the consequences. While child marriage remains illegal, dating - which is sex without the commitment - has become acceptable. Unbridled sexuality which is expressed in various ways these days (from insistence of open untied hair, to not sporting a bindi, to insistence on short or revealing clothes, to having a boyfriend or girlfriend, to worrying about one’s gender), all this is detrimental to raising our consciousness to higher levels, hence emphasis on looks or on externalities such as clothes, appearance, or even gender was frowned upon, as it takes us away from our puruṣārtha of mokṣa. Growing up I remember there was no mirror in our bedroom, my mother would knock my head with her knuckles (which was quite painful) if she ever caught me staring at any mirror. It was considered pāpa. I now comb my hair and put on boṭṭu etc., without the aid of a mirror. Did it help with something? Yes, it took me away from physical vanity towards appreciating more subtler aspects of myself and life. What she insisted upon is what was expected of me at the gurukulam too. It was as though she was preparing me for this all my life! Our parenting needs thought and care as much as our education syllabus. We cannot be gearing for a market solely. That would mean our total downfall.

Perhaps it is my greying hair or perhaps it is because I have lived my life recklessly already until wisdom dawned that I have started to find teenage romance nay any romance as something of an anti-vaidika concept. Romance to me now is nothing but an irrational attachment to the subject of my physical attraction which insists on sexual culmination at the cost of every maryāda laid down by society and our civilization. On applying close Vedānta scrutiny I did not find anything called ‘love’ there; the romantic version that is peddled by novels and films today. There is dharma, there is kartavya and there is prema which includes both dharma and kartavyam. There is no love outside of the dhārmika framework, no love that rests solely on individual likes and dislikes at the cost of family, community, and society - the individual choice ‘my life my man’ kind of mindless passion which does not see practical realities and hurts everyone around one is simply an insistence, a resistance to sane objections, a remnant of sad saṃskāras due to rāga dvaeṣas from previous janmas. This was a big reveal for me.

Our mature civilization avoided all these pitfalls and landed us at early marriages so that we were satiated as well as turned into responsible adults. But the current situation is at odds with our way of life, at least those who want to adhere to this should be able to teach their children a sane way of dealing with their bodily needs. There is no better place than a gurukulam which sublimates such urges via appropriate study, food, lifestyle and daily practices such as yoga and meditation. We were taught that a yata cittātmā is one whose mind and body are mastered. One whose body keeps moving such a person’s mind is not steady, so mind and body both need to be mastered. Hence yogāsanas are practised daily to make it easy for one to sit in dhyāna, to allow oneself to be in deep contemplation and to abide in the Self.

It is the gurukulam that I learnt the importance of family as a unit, the stability it accords allowing for the carrying forth of culture and bringing prosperity to oneself and one’s land. Here is where I took part in the wonder that is guru-śiṣya paramparā, and heard the term ‘vṛddha vyavahāra’ for the first time, of the importance of grandparents in storytelling, of a lineage shouldering Indian Knowledge Systems and passing them onto the next generation. Most of the Indian school syllabus and curriculum encourages individualism, it is a given for today’s generation to assume that that is the only way to be. Yet two generations ago, I myself was a part of a joint family. It is not without its failings but to do away with every other way of being and living and pushing forward only one model because it is accepted by the West as a standard, is doing injustice to our centuries old wisdom. When grandparents and grandchildren live together, the learning that happens is no less than what takes place in a gurukulam. Morals, aesthetics, history, poetry all in the form of stories gets passed down in one’s mother tongue keeping both the culture and the cultured intact. How can we expect this level of involvement from teachers, many of whom do their jobs only for the extra income?

Another area where the schools fall short in India is in lack of imaginative and out of the box thinking. In films and serials sannyāsīs are made fun of, they are caricatured and shown as deceitful and cunning and worse, this dehumanizes them, desacralizes them and we lose all our common goodness in keeping this beautiful āśrama alive. Whether it is done by design or by naivete, much harm has been done to make the ochre robes seem dangerous to the Hindu person. What benefits they bring to our society with their vairāgya and their presence is not factored in at all. Hence none of the schools will invite a saṃnyāsī to grace their functions, or speak at their podiums, although a saṃnyāsī has much to offer to the students and even the teachers in terms of how to lead a stress free life and more.

We are very diligent of course to keep our schools secular and not let religion creep in but then we use the English language without realizing how much of Christinanity and its theology is embedded in it. As such it is of no consequence, but language carries a culture, its thoughts and ideologies, language holds the philosophical ideas and ideals. For us to evoke a vaidikā vision via English we might need to rearrange the structure a bit. For a Vedantin, the ātmā has a body, it leaves a body and takes on another. Not that the body houses an ātmā inside as we are normally made to think, this is a total switch, a 108 degree flip of normal parlance. Hence we say ‘sadgati prāpta ho’ or om śānti when someone ‘leaves the body’ and carries forth on their journey. Another example; ‘a golden chain’ is a wrong sentence vedāntically speaking. As the substantive, i.e. the essence of a chain is of gold and not the chain, the weight and form of chain is all gold. While the adjective, the form, is of a chain’s, we should actually be saying chainy gold! Thus we at the gurukulam recognized the value of saṃskṛtam, how efficient it is in conveying our vaidika vision and how essential it is to know it for us to be able to delight in its vast literature both secular and religious. Most of our education encourages reading in English, whereby we lose our poets, our writers, our thinkers, and finally our indigenous ways of thinking and living, ending up as wannabe gorās in brown skin.

Many a time when Svāmījī would explain adhyāropa apavāda and how the visible universe is nāmā rūpā mātram superimposing on the vastu:

रूपं रूपं प्रतिरूपो बभूव
तदस्य रूपं प्रतिचक्षणाय

rūpam rūpam pratirūpo babhūva
tadasya rūpam praticakśaṇāya

brahman in the process of manifesting name and form transformed Itself in accordance with name and form

It was so much more accessible in saṃskṛtam than when he explained the same in English, although for Truth to be comprehended and internalized, language is not a barrier, yet, this vision was viewed in saṃskṛtam hence it sounds the true-est and its most authentic in it.

How many youngsters are exposed to the acme of our philosophy? That we visualise īśvara as both manifested and transcendent, that we do not believe in a male god sitting in heaven? That our concept of heaven and hell is a temporary place from which we return to earth to work out our karma? That ultimately, we can relax, sit back and enjoy, as we are sat cit ānanda. Well, a short stint at a gurukulam will rid us of all nonsensical and sentimental ideas regarding ourselves, gods, deities and demons. Many such revelations and connections made my stay at the gurukulam very enjoyable. Unlike my time in closed concrete classrooms in my childhood growing up, with bored uninspiring teachers simply reading out in droll voices what they themselves did not enjoy.

Think of sending your child to a gurukulam or a veda pāṭhaśāla next if you are looking for transforming your child from within and without.

Om Tat Sat!