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Introduction
There were many disciples of Amma who came to serve her at the World Hindu Congress (WHC) in Bangkok, in November 2023. It was a wonderful sight seeing them in handloom saris, bindis, vibhutis, or dhotis as the case maybe, walking in groups and spreading good cheer all around. Some helped in handing out audio translation devices, some in offering ‘Amma’ shoulder bags, many assisted in giving books and literature to the attendees, and many more simply came as attendees to participate in this beautiful gathering.
Looking at them, what struck me was: Why? And How?
Why had these non-Indians taken the trouble to leave all that was familiar and join Amma in her journey? What had they come seeking, what had attracted them to her (and her teachings) in the first place? How was this personal journey made and did it lead to any spiritual transformation?
Such questions are easy to ask, but the answers take time to form, and even longer to articulate. I was in no hurry when I requested Sugama ji, one of the many disciples of Amma who was there, if she could decipher for me all this that I was curious about. We met over a short tea break between sessions and hardly had time to have a proper conversation. Yet, in those few minutes of back and forth, we both understood where we stood with respect to sanatana dharma, and this was enough. I ended up requesting her to pen her thoughts and her life’s journey which could be inspirational to the youth of today, especially the Indian urban young.
Once we got back to our respective cities, we continued to be in touch. We planned to meet up in person, but my plans to visit Kollam and Amritapuri did not come to fruition. Meanwhile Sugama ji fell ill. During her confinement, she texted me saying that she would wish to write for our blog and answer all my queries, and maybe that could inspire one or two youngsters to give Vedanta a chance. Here is her account, and I am forever indebted to her for trusting Brhat with her story.
Sugamaji’s journey into Sanatana Dharma (in her words)
My mother was pregnant at 17 and no one in our village knew who my father was.
She and I lived at my grandma’s farm in France; it was a very simple and happy life. I was baptised to please my grandmother but apart from going to church service every Sunday there were no other religious or spiritual practices in the family, and my mother never believed in any God anyway. I would spend most of my days playing in nature, or with my sweet grandmother who had the desirable quality of accepting each and every person just as they are. Meanwhile my mother would go to work to provide for our needs.
Later my mother moved to the city with me, and I often had to deal with ruthless and aggressive kids. That is when I started realizing that there was so much hatred and suffering in this world. I used to ask myself:
Why is there so much cruelty from man towards nature, and towards other human beings including children? If there was a God how could he allow this to happen? If any God was in charge of this whole creation he would have to be cruel and insane. No loving God would allow so much suffering in his own creation.
I became an atheist.
During my teenage years I went through a painful identity crisis: I longed to know who my father was. For many years I thought that if I could only get to know who my father was, then I would finally know who I was. I searched for the truth, but after many years I ultimately had to accept that only my mother knew him – and she wasn’t telling. I resented my mother for not sharing this important information with me. After all, I felt it was not only her story but also mine!
I thought the world was not as it should be, people were not as they should be and there could be no such thing as a God. That a loving God was a fairytale. I felt hurt and angry at life. My family wanted me to go to university, but at age eighteen, there was nothing I could think of that I wanted to do for the rest of my life, and so despite my mother’s wishes, I left home and moved abroad.
For four years I lived and studied as an au pair girl in England and later in Spain. I lived with very wealthy families; some of them were very famous, young, and beautiful with gorgeous healthy children. They had everything one could desire! They lived in luxurious expensive areas and could afford pretty much anything; houses, clothes, cars, holidays, you name it… What more was there to desire for such people?
Peace and happiness
These people were neither peaceful nor happy, it was hard to believe. In this world where so many run behind money, beauty, and fame thinking that these will bring them lasting happiness and fulfillment, those chosen ones I met who had all of these were neither happy nor satisfied. Their lives were just as miserable, if not more so, than the so-called ‘ordinary people’ who lived a more simple life. They would cry, argue, feel miserable and be depressed inside expensive houses while having to pretend to the outside world that they had it all. What more can you do once you have everything that everyone else desires, but you still are not happy or peaceful? How to numb the pain? I now understood why millionaires often destroy their lives with drugs or even commit suicide in luxurious mansions.
Amma says that “..even the highest heaven turns into hell if the mind is agitated..”
I learnt a lot from those years abroad, the most important thing I learned was that wealth, fame, health, a chosen partner, all these things may bring some satisfaction and make our life more comfortable, but they do not give us lasting peace or happiness. Then I wondered, “Why do so many people use all their life force to maintain a style of life that does not even make them peaceful or happy for long? Why waste so much time and energy to get things, objects and entertainments that do not give any lasting peace or happiness?!”
For decades, society and the media has brainwashed us into believing that happiness comes from acquiring more things and external circumstances, and because the same messages are being shown over and over again in various ways. we end up believing it is the truth.
Amma says: “What is it that man craves? What is it that is most absent in this world? Peace is it not? There is no peace anywhere, neither within nor without. To live life fully, one needs peace and love. Peace is not something to be gained when all desires are fulfilled or when all problems are settled. As long as the mind is there, desires will come up and problems will exist. Peace is something that arises when all the thoughts settle, and you transcend the mind.”
Do we need to offer our life on the altar of consumerism to finally understand that this human life is not meant for us to only consume and possess?!
We can learn - just by watching the lives of those considered ‘successful’ by society - and through using our discernment, we will soon realize that there is much more to life. Of course we all need our needs to be taken care of and that no one on this earth should ever suffer from lack of food, shelter, education or medical care. I do not mean that one should not have goals, a family, a meaningful job, or a comfortable life; but these are certainly not the ultimate source of happiness in life. We are not born to only consume and entertain ourselves! There is a deeper purpose to our existence.
Amma says: “Bliss is our true nature, not sorrow. But something has happened to us. Everything has been turned upside down. Happiness has become a ‘strange’ mood while sorrow is considered to be natural. How can anyone who is looking for happiness in the things of the world attain the joy that doesn’t belong to this world?”
Living with so-called ‘successful people’ helped me understand that my life and happiness are my own responsibility. I could not change the world but I could definitely try to improve myself. So I started observing my inner world, my actions, thoughts and emotions and also being more aware of the food I was consuming. That is also when I stopped eating meat.
I was thirty when a friend I had met in a therapy workshop mentioned that she was going to see Amma, Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, and I strongly felt that I should go too.
Attending Amma’s program was like being transported to a heavenly planet without any previous announcement! What an overwhelming experience it was to watch such a radiant divine being embrace each and every person with the same quality of Love - and all this for hours and hours without ever showing any sign of aversion, exhaustion or lack of enthusiasm!
For three days and nights my whole being soaked in Amma’s beautiful love and presence. Tears slowly and silently rolled down my cheeks. I had never met any such unconditional love before, I didn’t even know that such love and radiance existed! But Amma had come to my city and She was making herself so available to all…
After those three days I never suffered again from not knowing who my father was. I finally understood that there was nothing to forgive and my relationship with my mother improved greatly. Many people die with the regret of not having known or met one or both of their parents.
Due to Amma’s Grace, having this regret will not be my destiny
Everything was very unfamiliar at Amma’s program: the huge crowds, Sanskrit and other strange sounding languages, meditation, peace prayers, devotional singing, puja… The only thing I knew was that this atmosphere was just divine and I experienced peace and love like never before.
I received mantra diksha from Amma, bought the Archana book and audio, acquired information about the I AM meditation technique and bought a few spiritual books. I wanted to try all these practices to see if they would work for me…and they changed my life! For nine more years I kept working in the same cell phone internet company 12 hours a day, 4 days a week, and I would continue to do my daily two and a half hours of sadhana without fail. I was so passionate that during my lunch break I also would chant the 108 names of Amma in Sanskrit and read Amma’s teachings, Bhagavad Gita and other spiritual books. At night I would listen to and sing bhajans. My work became an opportunity for practicing seva and slowly I became much more patient and equanimous. But I missed Amma very much, so as soon as I could afford it I travelled to Amritapuri, Amma’s ashram in Kerala.
Getting down from the plane the very first time, I remember feeling that India had a beautiful deep energy, and when I reached Amritapuri I felt like I was in a divine realm. After that first visit I spent every possible holiday there. And later I asked Amma where the most dharmic place to live was, and Amma enthusiastically answered ‘Amritapuri’. My dream was coming true! Six months later I quit my job, packed a few belongings, and came to Amritapuri to live the monastic way of life. I don’t think that many ashrams would take thirty-nine-year-old people but Amma accepted me.
I asked for a name and She named me Sugama (the one who easily follows the path that leads to God). I have been living the life of a monastic in Amritapuri for thirteen years now, and moving here was the best decision I ever made. It has drastically changed me and my life for the better.
Amma says that: “Vedanta is a way of living, an experience, the supreme experience, and evenness of mind in all situations of life”.
From my own experience I can say that the greatest treasure that Bharat has to offer to the world is the practice of Sanatana Dharma under the guidance of a realized master. But nowadays there are so many fake gurus too, and we see many Indians running behind the Western dream … and I understand. What saddens me is that they go to the West but they do not take with them the invaluable treasure of Sanatana Dharma. It is like leaving a huge pot filled with gold behind to run behind a pot filled with mere chocolates.
The ancestors, the sages, and rishis of Bharat left humanity the greatest treasure of all: Sanatana Dharma. This greatest possible human realization is every person’s birth right: A life free of suffering, self-realization.
Amma says that formal education teaches how to earn a living and Sanatana Dharma teaches how to live a fulfilling and meaningful life.
To understand and practice Sanatana Dharma one doesn’t need to live in an ashram, change one’s religion, or reject his or her native culture. Sanatana Dharma is all inclusive and it belongs to all of humankind, whoever seeks peace and freedom from sorrow is welcome, no one is ever unfit or rejected…sincerity and discernment are all that is needed. There is no force in Sanatana Dharma. I believe that genuine peace is only possible when we nurture our spiritual life.
We like watching heroes in movies but at some point we need to live our own life, don’t we? We don’t want to stay seated on the couch with our devices, forever watching other people’s lives unfold, living a virtual life only. We truly can become the hero of our own story when we shape our life in such a way that we become our own super- hero. Sanatana Dharma teaches us how to live such a super-hero’s life. It definitely helped me understand myself and the world better.
But like any super-hero we have our own enemies to face: inner negativities such as anger, sadness, egoism, impatience…there are plenty. No matter how much we may achieve in life, our negativities and hurts will follow us wherever we go - if we ignore them. Just like an unattended infected wound, they will only get worse with time. Sanatana Dharma is only for the courageous ones who are willing to look within, face their inner negativities and put efforts to remove them. I don’t know by what incredible grace I could meet Amma and that my life changed so positively.
I think that a genuine Guru is essential for a seeker of Truth and Love. The Guru already has reached the goal, She knows the way, She teaches through example and possesses many divine qualities. Amma’s daily sacrifice for humanity is deeply inspiring. She cares for each and every creature of this world. To Her nothing and no one is insignificant. She tirelessly dedicates her life to alleviating as much of people’s suffering as She possibly can. She helps the neediest by providing free food, healthcare, shelter, education…and comes to the rescue of so many people (including Westerners like me!) who have no spiritual education or background at all.
So everyday I just keep trying to practice Sanatana Dharma in a relaxed way under the loving and protecting wings of my dear Guru Amma. I usually dress simply, with the traditional white ashram saree and a bindi made of vibhuti blessed by Amma. My daily routine generally includes Meditation, plenty of mantra Japa, Archana, reading or listening to spiritual teachings and various Sevas. Every evening we all gather with Amma and She guides us for Meditation, Satsang, Bhajans and Arati. Her divine presence is the greatest inspiration of all and transforms and heals many hearts. Even after so many years Amma radiates unequalled divine Love. There is so much more love, satisfaction, inner peace and equanimity in my life and as a result so much tension, pain and inner enemies have lost their power over me.
It also was a shock to me to realize that many Indians nowadays ignore what Sanatana Dharma really is and do not practice it. I believe that previously, parents and grandparents would convey the values and stories to youngsters, but this seems to have disappeared for some reason. So India’s greatest treasure - that no invader over centuries could ever snatch away - is now mostly unknown, and is even misunderstood by many Indians themselves.
Amma says that: “The happiness that we gain from the outer world is fleeting; it never stays with you for long. It is there for one moment and the next moment it is gone. But, spiritual bliss is not like that. Once the final breakthrough happens, that is, once you transcend the limitations of body, mind and intellect, once you reach that state, there is no return. The bliss is forever. And it is infinite.“
I am forever grateful to Bharat and to my Guru Amma for accepting me and lovingly guiding me on my spiritual journey
aum lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu ||
Conclusion
I was overwhelmed with Sugama ji’s story when I read it. My heart was content knowing that she had found her truth and her guru. That she was indulging in seva at the ashram that was to her karma bhumi and punya bhumi both.
How diligent and persevering of her that she continued her sadhana for nine long years before she could even step into Bharat. How fortunate that she was able to find a guru with whom she resonated, and gave it her all to study. How wonderful that she now enjoys the company of such an elevated being.
Sugama ji’s primary purpose in penning this personal account is to showcase the grandeur of sanatana dharma and Vedanta. Of how someone who was in no way connected to Hindus or Hindu practices has now been able to assimilate and reflect upon the core teachings. Her desire is to let people know that there is no room for permanent happiness in temporary acquisitions and material things. And of course, for them to get on a ‘search’ for the permanent, just like she did.
In that, I believe she has been successful. I was her first reader, and reading her account made my resolve towards my own sadhana very strong. Her story will undoubtedly inspire many people out there who are unsure of what life is, and they will find that Hindu Dharma offers permanent solution to life’s problems in the here and now, and that this teaching is easily available today both online and in person.
There are really no excuses anymore to not be our own superhero.