Explanation about our state of mind, when we are down in life, should give hope. It should strengthen our will, or at least make one feel understood. But much of modern-day psychotherapy seems to be taking a shortcut. It is not easy to reverse these deeply troubling feelings. A psychiatrist would be intimidated to be weighed down by such an expectation. It is abundantly clear that a few periodic sittings cannot do much. Instead, the therapist hands over a supposedly powerful tool — a label, a definition of the condition one is enduring: borderline, mild depression, etc.
Labeling or knowing what condition one is enduring is not a big problem. It is always good to know that ‘this bad feeling I am experiencing is not unique and is not limited to myself’. Many endure this, and even better, there is a medically recognized name for this. This can definitely give the ‘I am not alone in this’ feeling.
But then, very subtly, a devious process unfurls in the mind without much ado. The diagnosis of the mental state becomes an identity, and when this newly awarded label is fully accepted, tragedy of epic proportions unfurls. It makes one feel incurably pathological, and this turns further worse when one makes this identity an alibi to give up efforts, even on micro tasks.
A spike in acute awareness about these troubling patterns seems to have unfurled a new set of problems. Every second person seems to be suffering from borderline something, and every fifth person seems to be a narcissist. The definition of these conditions is so broad and seamless that almost any perceptible mental pattern seems to fit some label or another. The world seems fully enlightened about narcissism, shadows, projections, transference, and countless such psychological phenomena. One can only wonder how it is that there is so much self-awareness yet negligible harmony!
Let me take a minor detour here to get some perspective about sukha and duḥkha. When these dual facets are defined as states of joy and sorrow, they do not serve our cause much. An etymological point of view of these words gives great insight, though. The sound su in Saṃskṛta usually means good, beautiful, as in the word sundarī, meaning beautiful woman. Kha means space. So, sukha can be inferred as a good space. What is in a good space? Our mind. When our mind is in a good space, the feelings that we experience are called sukha.
One might be in one’s own house, yet the house might be in a state that is not suitable for residing; in such a space, one cannot have ‘sukha’. Now this makes our understanding of duḥkha very easy. Simply put, it is a bad space or an unfavorable space. It is important to recognize this spatial perspective with regard to our inner states.
These endless labeling of patterns, beyond a point, complicate matters. Resolution is in arriving at a good space, mentally. To understand how to “arrive” there, it is important to recognize that we are on a journey. In our journey, at times, we do come across unwelcoming spaces. We feel morose, depressed, and like getting out as soon as possible. But instead of getting out, if we identify ourselves with these states intensely, then we cannot leave the space. So it is very important to take labels at best as descriptors of your state without allowing them to grasp the identity itself. This is the foremost responsibility of the counselor. Do not let the identification set in and hijack the willpower to move on.
In dhārmika traditions, when we conduct ritual prayers for the departed, the ritualist delineates the whole process. How the soul departs from the earthly plane gradually, how it attains higher lokas, probably these higher lokas are higher states! In this sojourn, we are told that the departed soul arrives at various stations. In some places, it might be raining or the weather might be inconvenient, yet in other places, circumstances might be pleasing. However, we are also told about a curious state where the journeying soul experiences immense states of sadness without any cause. It is part of our cultural understanding that when we experience such deep states of depression, there is perhaps some cause-and-effect link with states our ancestors experienced. Nowadays, even in India, we are rife with problems these newly formulated labels have brought in.
This is not to relegate such a psychiatric diagnosis to irrelevance, but to emphasize the need to draw the line where it is due. Beyond a point, uncontained zest for explaining all patterns in pathological terms needs closer scrutiny, before they are admitted on the grounds of unduly ascribed flawlessness on the part of psychotherapy.
We also need to recognize asymmetric expectations that therapists are subjected to. In traditional societies, a situation like this was addressed via counseling rendered by different role holders. Parents did their part, and so did other elders, such as gurus, jyotiṣis, ritualists. Each one had some role or the other, and this process would move gradually. Elders would probably share some stories from the Itihāsa or Purāṇa literature to bring in profound perspectives.
For instance, after the Kurukṣetra war, Dharmarāja was about to be declared the king. He was instead found deeply stuck in a state of grief. The bloodshed of the Kurukṣetra war left him totally depleted. His mind plunged into deep sorrow and began to entertain ideas of renunciation as atonement. A whole army of counselors, beginning with Śrī Kṛṣṇa, Draupadī, Bhīma, Nakula, Arjuna, Nārada, and eventually Bhīṣma, provides much-needed counseling. It is after such an intense perspective-building process that Dharmarāja’s mind finally arrives at a good state. In the current scenario, somehow therapist is expected to lift all of this weight by themselves.
Pivotal perspective that needs to be ushered is that this feeling of acute sadness is not an identity, but it is a space one has arrived in the journey. Keep walking slowly in these treacherous routes. Like a careful traveler who needs to cross slippery slopes on the cliff, move inch by inch, and if need be, pause. But do not give up moving. A good space awaits.
Disclaimer: The article was previously published on the author’s Substack.
